Ivan Leaves Valencia?
This is one of the hardest things that I have had to write. I have started close to a dozen times - and avoided writing on so many more occasions - and not been able to see it through. I suppose that the core issue is that I just don’t want to face what I have to say: we have left Valencia; left our beloved Spain.
Why? How? Wherefore? Good questions. (And is there anyone out there still asking after such a long absence?) I will do my best to explain.
Amending the Plan
‘Rocks are heavy.’ This seemingly simple phrase has been a great source of humour for Katie and I over the past few years. It was said in earnest by Katie one day when she was studiously tackling the endless task of transforming the ‘garden’ attached to the house that we had just purchased in Penticton, BC, Canada. The work was hard and not one especially suited to her interests and Katie was genuinely taken aback by how massively cumbersome the giant stones strewn about the property revealed themselves to be. But how could I not laugh? Rocks are heavy… yes they are…
That phrase has come to represent the process of reexamining the obvious; of being surprised by what we may have taken for granted. That phrase has become part of our intimate lexicon: one that means so much more to us than its simplicity implies. Don’t all close relationships develop this kind of personal vocabulary? Its own intimate list of inside understandings?
Another favourite of ours is ‘let’s amend the plan’. This one came from me, in defense of my sometimes narrow approach to change. Eventually, I can alter my expectations, but it has traditionally taken me a while to deviate from a plan, however badly it has started to play out. This phrase has come to represent the ability to reevaluate a situation and adapt, rather than ploughing ahead in the face of a reality that doesn’t match our preconceived ideas.
These two phrases combined pretty much sum up our decision to return to Canada after just under a year spent in Spain.
You can’t always get what you want
You know, I’m not sure that I am ready to buy into that even though we’ve amended our plan past the point of recognition. On the surface it may seem that we aren’t getting what we want, but there is a part of me (and I’m loathe to admit this) that believes that we are somehow being driven - however slowly and by whatever meandering means - towards a fate that we can’t yet envision, but one that will we’ll embrace completely once we arrive. Hmm… what was the next line of that song? You get what you need? Let’s hope so.
What we need right now - and what motivated us to pack up our few things and return to Canada - is relief from financial distress. When we left Canada we made an investment that was meant to provide us with some income. Unfortunately, that investment has not managed to perform in today’s economic climate. What’s worse is that we placed our trust and our faith in assurances that the money would be there. We took a gamble - and decided to trust the information we were getting. We ended up in a position where we needed the money - and that was okay because we knew it was on the way. Only it wasn’t.
We’re not sure what is going to happen in the long run, but the immediate reality is that we’re in a very tight spot. Part of the plan for getting out of this spot is a return to Canada where we can (hopefully) find jobs that will provide enough income to work our way forward. We are back in Penticton, living with Katie’s parents, Anne and Larry, for the moment, and thinking hard about our options. I’ve got a job that looks promising - sales - and Katie is looking for opportunities. We’ve got a couple of irons in the fire and now we just have to stoke the flames. It’s going to be hard work - and we may have to amend the plan many times along the way - but we’ll get where we want to be sooner or later.
I don’t mind too much, not really. I can accept that things don’t always go the way we expect them to. We’ve come across some obstacles that we have to move - okay, I can do that. But sometimes it really is amazing how heavy those rocks can be.
The summer of our discontent
We left Valencia a month ago just as the really beautiful weather was settling in for the season - orange blossoms swaying over patios, conversations floating up into the warm evening air. It was hard to adjust to the relative cold when we arrived at Vancouver airport.
But now the weather here in Penticton is living up to its reputation (well, locally it has one…). The sun lowers slowly in the evenings and doesn’t disappear completely until 10 PM; the night breezes are balmy and calm: we couldn’t ask for better.
And yet, there isn’t a moment that I forget where I am in the world and why. The awareness of our less than ideal situation never leaves me. Making the best of it - that’s the best that I can muster at the moment. I’m not bad at it, but it’s a far cry from the best case scenario. It’s a far cry from the original plan.
There are people in this town who love it; truly adore what life has to offer here. When I meet and talk to them, I feel consoled: after all, life here isn’t so bad; for some, it’s the ideal. These are the people whose passion and enthusiasm for life in general helps me to focus on the positive. These people are living their dream and they remind me that Katie and I are too; we’re just on a temporary detour. There is no terrible disaster for us, only a long and beautiful summer stretching before us in not quite the right place. That’s how I like to see it.
Moving forward
Wheels are in motion; irons in the fire. With the help of our loving family and friends, we will keep moving forward. That doesn’t mean that our path will be a straight line from here to where envision ourselves.; forward is relative, after all. Maybe we’ll move forward along an intricate spiral that will take us back to Spain. Maybe we’ll veer off, pushing forward into unnchartered realms. Who knows? And does it really matter? As long as we can amend our plans and admire the impressiveness of it all, isn’t that enough?
Yes, rocks are heavy, and they sometimes get in our way. We often don’t have the brute strength to toss them aside, but if we try, we can always find some means - a lever or a ladder - to circumvent them and move forward. And the triumphant feeling that we derive from that accomplishment doesn’t stem from moving forward, but from overcoming the obstacle. We’ll be looking forward to that feeling soon.
Ivan in Valencia will be on hold for a short time while I get things sorted out, but we have a few ideas up our short sleeves. I won’t keep you out of the loop.
Thanks for reading.
This is so weird….I had not checked your blog since April and just now I wondered what had happened to you and found this post. I am sad that I can’t follow your adventures in Valencia (for now), but I live in Oregon and down here we envy the life you have in BC, so keep blogging, please! I am looking forward to learning where life takes you guys.
Peace to you and your family- Laura
Well Ivan im sorry to hear you have left. I can understand since i have yet to find a job here either. However i am in a far more fortunate possition thanksfully. I am a Spaniard that had returned home after 25 years in Canada, as a result the government of Spain pays me a small sum every month untill i find work. Also, i own a house here so i have no mortgage. I pray that these two things prevent me from the unthinkable of ever having to return to living in Canada.
Its very pretty in Canada.. but to me it will never be home.
Good luck Ivan, i hope everything works out for you and your family. And who knows maybe one day you will be back and we can cheers your newfound success.
Javi
So sorry to hear that it hasn’t worked out Ivan so i guess that is why the interview is not a possibility
Good luck in your new and probably temporary home. Crisis’ don’t usually come as big as this one and many are suffering through it. Just get sorted and then plan the new path. Keep in touch
Hi Ivan, have checked your blog on numerous occasions and was becoming increasingly concerned to find no update. Very concerned to read your opening words and almost afraid to read on. Pleased that you are all OK healthwise but very sorry to learn or your present financial circumstances, most, no doubt, have found themselves in similar circumstances at some point in their lives. It is a stressful experience to go through but when you come out the otherside (and you will)life will once again be wonderful. I admire your courage and openess in disclosing the reasons you have had to move back to Canada. Enjoy the experiences you will have in Canada that you would otherwise have been denied. Enjoy the fact that you are all healthy and happy. Keep your dreams and you will appreciate them all the move when they are once again fullfilled. Love to you all, Diane xx
Sorry about the spelling errors, should have proof read it!
“All you need is love” to quote another song. Of course, my heart is heavy for you both upon reading your words; of course, I can feel your pain of not being in Valencia right now, but you have each other and Oscar and “love is all there is”. I’ll be in touch. Besos Zahava
Hi Ivan,
I a really happy to hear from you again ! I checked your website on various occasions and was sort of disappointed there was no news from you which frightened me a bit. Good to hear you are doing well allthough a lot of things will still go through your minds….
I loved reading your story, honest and open and I think a lot of courage is needed to put it on ” paper” in this way.
I wish you a lot of succes which everything you will undertake in the near and far future !!
big kiss to Katie and Oscar.
Miriam
Thnks for this.
Don’t worry about the yellow car…
Ivan —well said —honest and true, as always.
Hi Ivan,
I never met you, but I did know you in a way, through Katie. We had a few chats over coffee in Penticton in the months leading up to your move. I contacted her after seeing your story in the paper about moving to Spain. Your writing is awesome and I wish I had known you were writing a blog while in Spain. My husband and I also dreamed about taking our family there to live. It was either that or move back to Vancouver to be close to his family, or to Ontario to be close to mine. We chose Ontario, which is where we are now. And yet, we can’t get Spain off our minds. Suburbia just isn’t going to cut it.
I came across your blog while searching for Katie’s email address. Came across this video today and thought of you guys. http://www.houses-for-sale-in-spain.net/ten-good-reasons-for-moving-to-spain/ I was aware via an email a while back that you guys had headed back to Penticton.
I work from home, so can live anywhere, but my husband is still trying to figure out what he can do for work. (He can work in Spain because his Dad has a Brit passport, but I hear the economy is still pretty bad.)Anyway, I have this funny feeling we will all meet in Spain one day. Please ask Katie to send me an update. I can’t find her email address!
All the best,
Tara
“Creating a dream is like raising a child. You have to support it until it can support itself.” Paul and Sarah Edwards
Any update on this? How are things going?
I just happened across a post of yours when I googled “road trip in Spain”. I lived in Granada for just under a year until my financial situation (or lack thereof) forced me to come home to the States and live with my mom until I save up enough money to move out. After reading your light hearted and genuine thoughts on road-tripping it through España, I noticed you mentioned Valencia, which upon a weekend visit enganchó mi corazon and I’ve been dreaming a life there ever since. So, then I came to this page–and I felt the pang of leaving a city so magical and so lovely that you and Katie must have felt. I admire your attitude, and I wanted to thank you for this uplifting, honest, and reflective post. I hope there will be more soon–and I’ll be going back to the beginning to read your amazing story :0)
Un abrazo,
Ana
Wow! Ivan your coming-back-home story absolutely stroke me. It sounds just like my own! I just cannot believe that there are actually other out there who have such life experiences. (silly of me)
I just moved from the US back to Russia couple of months ago and I still feel out of place. My hub and I lived 3+ years in states and had to move back due to some financial and some other hardships.
I wish you and your family all the best!
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